My Never-Ending Loss

I used to think the worst thing in the world would be to never find love – how wrong I was!
The worst thing in the world is to lose somebody that you love.
The emptiness of never finding love can be cured in a romantic instant.
The emptiness of losing somebody that you love can never be filled.
It’s a pain you live with everyday, every second your heart continues to beat.
You are always hurting, always missing.

The scariest thing is to be alone with your own thoughts, they haunt you, horrify you.
You think about doing things that you never thought you’d think about.
You cry – all the time.
You feel completely lost in everything that you do.
You can never remember anything clearly, except for the last time you saw her.

Laying naked on the bathroom floor.
No pulse, no warmth, no movement.
Sitting there, staring at a body that shows no attempt at life.
Knowing that one hour earlier, she was your living, breathing mother.

Instead now, I have nothing.
Nothing but memories and an empty hole in my heart that can never be filled.
Forever I will feel that loneliness.

It’s almost two years now, and I can still clearly hear her saying “I love you”.
I wish I could tell her that I love her.
Just one last time.