Relationships

There is a thread on Writing Forums where people are discussing relationships and a lot of the men are saying how women expect their men to change who they are and how they are stifled.

I decided to add my 2 cents to the thread in defense of women who love their men for who they are.

"I have read through everyone's comments here and it seems that many people have quite a cynical view on both relationships and love.

I have been witness to women who believe in the "fairytale love" - the kind of love that one sees in the movies. Media portrays true love as something that brings OTT happiness 24/7. Yes, the couple will experience a drama of sorts that pulls them apart, but all is made right in the end and they live happily ever after. I am, of course, generalising many romantic films. This kind of portrayal leaves many women wondering what is missing from their lives and their relationships. I have seen good relationships fall to pieces because she is looking for more from her man. It is sad to think that people can be so mislead by media that they begin to believe that this is how their lives should be. In my opinion, having someone who loves you whole-heartedly and makes you happy should be enough. Why go looking for something more?

I am a typical hopeless romantic - I love roses and songs and poetry and cuddles and all that :) Even though I am this way - I am realistic about relationships. It cannot always be sunshine and kittens. Both my man and I are opinionated, him more so than me. His past relationships have been damaging and he has many difficulties that he has to deal with as a result. I too am damaged goods, from disastrous family relationships. I will NEVER ask my man to be anything other than who he is. I love him that way and I am proud to be with someone like him. Regardless of his insecurities, he is a wonderful, loving, generous man.

He has many hobbies that he thoroughly enjoys. He participates in online gaming, music, reading and especially loves spending time with his children. I could be like the women that have been described in above threads and limit his time to do the things he loves. But why would I want to do that? I have encouraged my man to join a band and gain as much experience he can from performing live. In fact, he is playing his first solo gig in 2 weeks (he is a singer and a guitarist). Yes, his hobbies are time consuming, but they are part of what makes him who he is. It is an honour for me to stand next to the stage and see how much he has improved and just how happy it makes him. I could be selfish and demand he spend time with me and my friends, as was previously mentioned in this thread, rather than enjoy his online games. Instead, I joined in. I learned how to play the same games and now we enjoy that time together. I cannot understand women who take away from their men the little delights that they may have.

When you look at our relationship there is so much drama that surrounds us – my family in particular have created a difficult environment, but we have both moved beyond that and are the better for it. We are discussing an engagement and I am over the moon. He makes me unbelievably happy and I know he feels the same. It would be an honour to be his wife.

A relationship is not a tennis match where one person wins and the other loses. It should rather be viewed as a game of doubles – where together you can either succeed or not."